For Micaela Erlanger, one of Hollywood’s top stylists, the journey toward healing wasn’t paved with red carpets—but with ritual, reflection, and the powerful medicine of ayahuasca.
When personal tragedy struck—loss of her mentor, the passing of loved ones, and a painful divorce—Erlanger sought deeper meaning. Inspired by a line from Mary Oliver’s poem The Uses of Sorrow, she began a path of internal healing:
“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift.”
That gift took form during a transformational retreat at Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica.
Stepping Into the Unknown
Originally intrigued by ayahuasca’s healing potential through a friend’s experience, Erlanger arrived at Rythmia cautious but hopeful. As a public figure, she worried about shedding her polished image. Yet the promise of clarity outweighed her fears.
“I feared losing control, confronting buried emotions—but I knew I needed something beyond traditional therapy.”
Rythmia’s immersive program included pre-ceremony classes led by founder Gerard Powell and medical director Jeff McNairy. Their message? Ayahuasca isn’t a drug—it’s a sacred medicine used for centuries by Indigenous Amazonian communities.
A Night of Remembering
On her first ceremony night, Erlanger described the ayahuasca journey as an emotional time capsule. Vivid flashbacks brought forward childhood memories and forgotten emotions—grief, fear, guilt, shame.
“Even with a happy upbringing, I had unknowingly packed away deep pain.”
The medicine, she explained, guided her to forgive herself and others. What followed was a sense of release so profound it brought tears of relief.
A Second Return, A Stronger Self
A year later, Erlanger returned to Rythmia mid-divorce. This time, she embraced the ceremony fully, consuming higher doses yet experiencing gentler visions. Her inner critic had quieted.
“Ayahuasca gives you what you need—not more, not less.”
Post-retreat, she noticed tangible change. Her anxiety lessened. She felt more connected to her career, her purpose, and most importantly, to herself.
The Real Work Happens After
True transformation didn’t end at the retreat. Back home, Erlanger’s daily life felt lighter, her choices clearer. Therapy and coaching had helped—but ayahuasca, she says, cut straight to the soul.
“I rediscovered my self-worth, my intuition, and a peace I hadn’t felt in years.”
Now, she plans to make ayahuasca a regular part of her growth, returning annually to peel back more emotional layers.
The Power of Surrender
The greatest lesson from her journey? Radical self-acceptance.
“True forgiveness isn’t for others—it’s about reclaiming your peace. And that starts by trusting your own voice.”
What once felt like darkness became the path to light. As Erlanger puts it, the retreat didn’t just heal her—it realigned her with a version of herself she had long forgotten.